Melancholy

"Distinguish melancholy from sadness..."    ~ Albert Camus


I now physically know the difference between melancholy and mere sadness.    Prior to this experience I only could distinguish the difference in an academic sense. 

What it's like...

"Imagine smiling after a slap in the face.   Then think of doing it twenty-four hours a day"
~ Markus Zusak

It's a long, arduous road....

"It's a long, arduous road he's starting to travel, but it may be that at the end of it he'll find what's he's seeking."

~W. Somerset Maugham, The Razor's Edge

“I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?” ~ Ernest Hemingway

“I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?”
~ Ernest Hemingway


I've adjusted to the fact that sleep is simply another an unachievable goal (like being taller):


Dementia patient caregivers lose sleep, adding to mental health stress https://www.upi.com/Health_News/2019/08/23/Dementia-patient-caregivers-lose-sleep-adding-to-mental-health-stress/1511566577358/?spt=su&or=btn_tw


via Journal of the American Medical Association:
Sleep Duration and Sleep Quality in Caregivers of Patients With Dementia https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamanetworkopen/fullarticle/2748661

Where have all the good times gone?

"The fire of my adversity has purged the mass of my acquaintance..."
~Henry St John, 1st Viscount Bolingbroke

1 In 3 Workers With Caregiving Duties At Home Have Quit A Job Because Of It

 1 In 3 Workers With Caregiving Duties At Home Have Quit A Job Because Of It

"The majority of workers shoulder a burden their colleagues and employers may not see. According to a new report from Harvard Business School researchers Joe Fuller and Manjari Raman, 3 in 4 employees have some type of caregiving responsibility. At some point in our careers, most of us could end up caring for children, the elderly or sick loved ones."

Read the article here...

While the article says that, more than half of the employees surveyed agreed that, “the culture of my organization is not as supportive as it could be around the career progression of caregivers.” -  I am incredibly lucky to have a very supportive Manager in my company.   He has been consistent in being a caring and supportive voice when I feel that my own value is falling short of my own standards/goals and previous performance. 

I think that some might consider this working issue for caregivers only in economic terms.  In my case the ability to earn money to pay the bills is certainly important but, it is crucial to me to be able to continue working in a role that I love.  Working (even in a lower speed than I would like),  enables me  step back from the continuous caregiving responsibilities and collaborate with our members on enterprise IT issues and challenges.  The benefit is far beyond the economic impact as it  provides me with a much needed distraction.  Without being able to continue in the role that I love,  I am fairly certain my mental and physical health would deteriorate dramatically. 

Everyday I am grateful to be working for an organization and a manager supportive of my duel responsibilities.   I wish that every caregiver were as lucky as I am in this regard.

On Common Sense...

"Common sense is judgment without reflection, shared by an entire class, an entire nation, or the entire human race.” ~Giambattista Vico

On fishing....

"It has always been my private conviction that any man who puts his intelligence up against a fish and loses had it coming."
~ John Steinbeck