Hope

“Hope is definitely not the same thing as optimism. It is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out.”
~Vaclav Havel

A chance encounter with someone who didn't know...

I watched during a chance encounter with an old friend who is unaware of her dementia. Her old friend handled the encounter with grace but, i was obviously confused and concerned for her. The old friend shot quick glances at me seemingly for some sort of unspoken explanation. I wondered, what should I do? Smile and continue to prompt/fill in words ideas for her or somehow explain to the old friend everything is fine (which is likely all anyone wants to hear) when it truly is not?

In the end all I could muster while holding back the urge to cry was, smile and continue to prompt/fill in words ideas for her.

I am learning that with dementia, someone else's dignity is more valuable than the truth.

"A white lie is always pardonable. But he who tells the truth without compulsion merits no leniency." ~Karl Kraus

Created: 2018.11.12

the experience - even without recall

"Even though people experiencing dementia become unable to recount what has just happened, they still go through the experience - even without recall.
The psychological present lasts about three seconds. We experience the present even when we have dementia. The emotional pain caused by callous treatment or unkind talk occurs during that period.
The moods and actions of people with dementia are expressions of what they have experienced, whether they can still use language and recall, or not."
~Judy Cornish, The Dementia Handbook: How to Provide Dementia Care at Home

Created: 2018.11.08